[*BCM*] bicycle-friendly Boston

robert fine countrybob at comcast.net
Wed Oct 31 19:40:37 EDT 2007

Here's some other fun and creative ideas I had that could help the City if
we want to go along with their dream scheme to make Boston Bicycle friendly
(and it's totally sarcastic, just in time for Halloween).

1) GUN BUYBACK PROGRAM, bring a gun to Bikes not Bombs and get a
reconditioned bike, no questions asked. Any semi-automatics or sawed off
shotguns will will qualify the redeemer for a free lifetime tuneup.

2) ADOPT A BIKE MESSENGER, good citizens and generous philanthropists could
adopt a bike messenger and pledge $50.00 each month to help recipient  save
for a downpayment on their first condo,  paying back of college loans, or
even help defray the cost of the states mandatory health insurance program.

3) FREE SPERM COUNT CLINICS, to battle the age old myth that bicycling
lowers one's sperm count, City Clinics will stay open late once per month
and provide free sperm count screening just to asuage the fear new
bicyclists may have on this devastating ailment. Stimulating multi- cultural
reading material will be provided free of charge.

Rob Fine

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